Want something?

Just Ask For It.

Not God, necessarily, just ask another person for it. Yes, I know it’s not metaphysical or anything, but it works.

That’s it, that’s all you need to know. Well, there is one other thing, sometimes, if you ask the wrong person, you will get a no. In that case, keep asking until you get what you want.

It was an interesting discussion which I was minded to respond to…

I could do with some more money this weekend as it’s our 11th wedding anniversary and I want to take my wife out for a meal. As it stands it will be little more than a burger as we’re not getting paid until next week…Tuesday, Thursday AND Friday! We need a timeshift calendar as an anniversary gift.

And I thought heck, let’s try it!

I’m asking for…$100 to take my wife out for an anniversary meal. For this I am willing to offer my time as graphic designer, copywriter and marketer.

Do you have a job or task which you want taking off your hands? Has it been sat there for weeks or months just gathering dust? What would you give to just to get it out of the way so you can move forward again.

Take a look at my blog bio – is there anything there that you feel you could tap into that would make life a little easier for you?

Do you need a logo creating or a leaflet designed? What about some advertising or brochure copy? Maybe you need advice on social networking or someone to review your website who will see it with fresh eyes?

If you have such a task in mind please use my Contact Me page on my blog to get in touch – I’ll be happy to help in any way I can.

I may have ended up breaking the forum rules here but if I don’t ask I don’t get. Maybe the powers that be will look at it as some kind of LoA experiment!

To be clear not every culprit listed below applied the mortal blow but each in their own way has contributed to make life for the rest of England team extremely difficult whether in qualifying or in the final tournament itself.

First in the dock is probably the most famous England villian of them all – Peter Bonnetti. Through a combination of bad play and misfortune he carried the can for a defeat of a side that was considered better than the team that lifted the Jules Rimet trophy four years earlier.

Peter Bonnetti (Mexico 1970) – England 2 West Germany 3

The Chelsea goalkeeper received an unexpected late call-up for this quarter-final clash in Mexico in a repeat of the 1966 final. Gordon Banks, who was widely recognised as the best keeper in the World at that time, had been laid-low by a stomach bug. Despite a fitness test on the day of the game, manager Alf Ramsay, decided he could not risk playing Banks and Bonnetti started in his place.

Initially England did well storming to a two-goal lead through Peters and Mullery but Beckenbaurer pulled one back with a shot that slipped under the body of a slow to react Bonnetti.

After Bobby Charlton was taken off to conserve his energy for the next game, England fell apart conceding a goal in the last 10 minutes when a seemingly harmless looping header left the Chelsea stopper stranded.

In extra-time it was all West Germany and they won the match thanks to a smashed winner from Gerd Muller to put them through to the semi-finals.

Norman Hunter and Peter Shilton (Wembley 1973) – England 1 Poland 1

England’s failure to qualify for the World Cup in 1974 was a seismic shock for English football. In what was the final match of qualifying, England had to win to go through while Poland only needed a draw.

Early in the second half there was a moment where the ball was loose out by the touchline. Barry Davies, the commentator, said, “…Hunter has got to make that!” but the England defender did not and the Poles broke away. The ball was crossed to Jan Domarski who was storming towards the penalty area and his first time shot went under the England keeper Shilton’s body to put Poland one up.

England later equalised through an Alan Clarke penalty but the Polish goalkeeper, Tomaszewski, played a blinder and the score remained 1-1 at the finish. One goal scored or one goal not conceded would’ve sent England to Germany but it wasn’t to be.

While the 70s were barren period for the national team it does not tell the whole story and this episode merely emphasises what a fine line there is between success and failure. The Poles eventually finished third with Lato the tournament top scorer.

Don Revie (1977) – defected to UAE job during qualifying campaign

After effectively losing out by one goal to eventual 1976 European Championship winners Czechoslovakia in qualifying, England again found themselves in a tough qualifying group for the 1978 World Cup.

England were on the backfoot from the start however after losing away to Italy 2-0 and were then always on catch up. Manager Don Revie was being given a torrid time in the press and despite beating Luxembourg 5-0 at Wembley, he defected to become manager of the United Arab Emirates national team. His salary was a huge sum at the time amounting to £340,000 over four years. The problem was that Revie had sold his story to the Daily Mail which announced the news before the FA had received his official resignation letter.

The qualifying campaign continued but the final nail in the coffin was an unconvincing 2-0 victory against Luxembourg under new manager Ron Greenwood. It ultimately meant that in England’s last match they needed to beat Italy by at least three goals (they managed two) or hope Luxembourg could hold the Italians to an unlikely draw. It was too big an ask and England went out on goal difference. Italy meanwhile went to Argentina where they eventually finished fourth.

Kevin Keegan (Spain 1982) – Spain 0 England 0

Despite a glittering club career during the 70s where Keegan won league, cup and European honours plus two European footballer of year awards, the diminuitive striker never had the opportunity to show his skills on the greatest stage. Not until 1982 that is.

The World Cup in Spain was the first England had qualified for since 1962 having been hosts in 1966 and as holders in 1970. Unfortunately Keegan went to the tournament injured and it was touch and go whether he was going to be able to play at all.

England started brilliantly by winning all three group games but in the second round they found themselves in a tough pool with the hosts Spain and West Germany with whom they drew with 0-0.

The other results meant that for England to make the semi-finals they had to beat Spain by two goals but with 18 minutes remaining it was still goaless. In a last desperate throw of the dice Keegan was brought on and within a few minutes was presented with a simple header that he put agonisingly wide of the post.

If he had scored the momentum would’ve been with England and they may have got another against a dispirited Spanish side but it would be unfair to be too critical. A player of his quality should have more than 18 minutes and missed header to show for a World Cup career.

Ray Wilkins (Mexico 1986) – England 0 Morrocco 0

This was one of those we got away with. Wilkins getting sent off for throwing a ball towards the referee was not at all helpful to England’s cause. It was a tad harsh but why take that chance with a whistle happy official looking to make a name for himself. The result left England with one point from two games meaning that England had to win against Poland to go through. Fortunately Lineker remembered his shooting boots this time and scored a hatrick to put England through behind the Africans.

That game was also known for Bryan Robson dislocating his shoulder for probably the third time that week such was his fragile state back then. At least with him we had a substitute to bring on, in this case Steve Hodge. This was the man who ‘passed’ to Maradona for the Hand of God goal in the quarter-finals so maybe he should have kept his tracksuit on.

Chris Waddle (Italy 1990) – West Germany 1 England 1 (4-3 on penalties)

In a tournament where we started slowly (as usual) and got progressively, England had their best performance in a match they lost. Uninspiring draws with the Republic of Ireland and the Dutch was followed by lucky 1-0 wins against Egypt and Belgium. Cameroon in the quarter-finals should’ve been a formality but it took two Gary Lineker penalties and extra-time to get England to the semi-finals.

We all know about the game. Brehme’s lucky deflected free kick against Paul Parker, Lineker’s equaliser and of course Gazza’s tears but 1990′s villain came in the penalty shoot-out.

Now, I can’t bring myself to put Stuart Pearce here just because he missed England’s first penalty that day. He more than made up for his England errors – including that awful back pass against San Marino – by fighting back against Basil Boli who had nutted him in Euro92 and by scoring a crucial pen against Spain in Euro96.

Chris Waddle meanwhile, had the body language of a man who knew he was going to miss that night in Turin. By not even forcing a save from German stopper, Bodo Illgner, Shilton wasn’t even given the opportunity to save that final kick. Not that he would’ve done.

Had England got there they would’ve faced a decimated Argentinan side without five players through injury and suspension. Surely they would have been able to finish victorious even with the skill of Gasgoigne.

Des Walker and Graham Taylor (1993) – Key games against Norway and Holland

I actually think Graham Taylor was a bit unlucky not to qualify for USA94 but this would ultimately be covering over the cracks of what was a pretty poor side. From the start we must forget what was the ultimate decider, the away game against Holland in Rotterdam where England were robbed by Ronald Koeman and the referee – the damage had already been done long before then.

Rekdahl scored a fantastic if fortunate leveller for Norway at Wembley early in the campaign while Bergkamp did something similar for Holland a few months later. In that game Walker had been hopelessly exposed for pace giving away a penalty against Dutch striker Marc Overmars with just four minutes remaining. This allowed Holland to equalise after England had previously been 2-0 up.

Walker was also largely at fault for the first goal in Norway when he began to argue with the referee after committing a foul near the corner flag. He was subsequently caught out with a quick free kick which was crossed for Øyvind Leonhardsen to score in what ended as a 2-0 defeat.

In the last round of matches England had to beat San Marino by seven goals and hope that Poland could beat Holland in Posznan. Neither happened with England only winning 7-1 and the Poles losing 3-1 at home. The Dutch went to the US where they lost out to eventual winners Brazil in the quarter-finals.

David Beckham (France 1998) – England 2 Argentina 2 (3-4 on penalties)

The 1998 World Cup last 16 clash between Argentina and England in Saint-Étienne has gone down in football folklore. We can talk all day about 18 year old Michael Owen’s mazy run and fine finish as well his dubious dive for a penalty. We can also mention the theatrical dive by Simeone which led to the game’s opening goal from the penalty spot and the Zanetti’s wonderfully worked free kick to make it 2-2 but the key incident happened on the halfway line shortly after half-time.

Shortly after the start of second half David Beckham was bundled over by Diego Simeone. As the Argentian got his feet and while Beckham still lay on the floor, the Englishman flicked out a leg and Simeone went to ground. It was an over the top reaction from both men but referee Kim Milton Nielsen had no choice – Beckham had to go.

Despite their numerical advantage Argentina could not force a winner and for a brief moment it looked like England had snatched victory following a headed goal from Sol Campbell but it was disallowed due a foul by Shearer.

The game went to penalties – England missed two to Argentina’s one and England were out. Beckham was villified but he got his revenge four years later by scoring the winner in a rematch in South Korea.

David Seaman and Sven Goran Erikkson (South Korea / Japan 2002) – England 1 Brazil 2

During the 2002 World Cup England had stumbled its way through the group stage in what was considered the infamous group of death. Their oponents were Sweden, Argentina and Nigeria and while never looking convincing, the backs to wall victory against the Argentinians gave them the breathing space they required to go through.

In the second round a convincing 3-0 victory over Denmark had the shock of an Emile Heskey goal and a frightening celebration from Rio Ferdinand. This set up a match with the favourites, Brazil and England went one-up through Owen but their South Americans equalised on the stroke of half-time through Rivaldo. This could easily have been avoided as Beckham had the chance to clear on the touchline but jumped out of the tackle leaving the Brazilians free to break.

After half-time a free-kick by Ronaldinho was what sealed David Seaman’s position on this list. From what seemed like a harmless and wasted cross, the ball sailed over the goalkeeper’s head and into the back of the net. It was one of those million to one chances and it’s not clear to this day if Ronaldinho meant it but it found a gap and gave Brazil the lead in the game.

The Swede’s induction in the Hall of Shame comes from the total absense of ideas and a Plan B in that quarter-final when desperately needing to score. Shortly after Ronaldinho’s goal he had been sent off which meant England played the last 35 minutes against 10 men. The frustrating thing from an England fan’s standpoint was that there was not another serious threat on goal and team exited the tournament with little more than a whimper.

Had England capitalised on their advantage they would have faced Turkey in the semi-finals and by winning that a game, set up a final against Germany who England had beaten 5-1 Munich just months earlier. Such a wasted opportunity.

Wayne Rooney (Germany 2006) – England 0 Portugal 0 (1-3 on penalties)

England were far from convincing in 2006 with lacklustre victories against Paraguay, Trinidad & T0bago and Ecuador with their only blip a careless 2-2 draw against Sweden in a game where they actually played well. It was a match which was effectively Michael Owen’s swansong as he was injured with no-one near him in the opening minute. He was never the same player again.

In the quarter-final against Portugal it was repeat of the meeting at the European Championships two years earlier and England were out for revenge. It was an enthralling game which ignited on the hour mark following a scrappy tackle between Ricardo Carvalho and Wayne Rooney. In fighting to get the ball Rooney stamped on the fallen player between the legs – it’s not pretty viewing.

For a moment it looked as if Rooney would get away with it but his club colleague Ronaldo stormed over to the referee to protest and England player responded by pushing the Portugese. His fate was sealed and again Horacio Elizondo had little choice but to send Rooney off.

The real villain in 2006 was Cristiano Ronaldo of Portugal after ‘that wink’ but we can’t forget that the catalyst was the Rooney sending off. England played very well with 10 men and were unlucky not to win but being without their talismatic striker was what ultimately cost them.

So to 2010 and it’s Rob Green that is getting the bashing from the press. Will he be given the chance to redeem himself against the Algerians and even if he does will he be made a scapegoat should England not qualify from their group. We’ll have to wait and see.

It’s always better to improve from the start than have a fantastic group stage and then fade away in the later stages as they did in ’82 in Spain. England won their three group matches but then drew 0-0 twice to go out in the second round.

In Euro2008 Holland beat World Champions Italy 3-0 in their first match, France 4-1 in their second and Romania 2-0 in the third but lost 3-1 to Russia in the quarter-finals. Probably the best team of the tournament didn’t even make the semis that year.

I’ve been watching England in major championships for 30 years and they hardly ever start well. In fact 3-1 v France in 1982, 2-0 v Tunisia in 1998 and 1-0 v Paraguay in 2006 are our only victories in 12 opening matches.

For the record the others are 1-1 v Belgium (1980), 0-1 v Portugal (1986), 0-1 v Ireland (1988), 1-1 v Ireland (1990), 0-0 v Denmark (1992), 1-1 v Switzerland (1996), 2-3 v Portugal (2000), 1-1 v Sweden (2002) and 1-2 v France (2004)…and I did all that from memory!

Using the web to go back further the record is worse than I thought – here are their other major championship first game results going back to the first one in 1950…

1-0 v Romania (1970)
0-1 v Yugoslavia (1968)
0-0 v Uruguay (1966)
1-2 v Hungary (1962)
2-2 v Soviet Union (1958)
4-4 v Belgium (1954)
2-0 v Chile (1950)

That means they’ve won just five of 20 first round games. That’s truly appalling…

Nelson Mandela‘s great-granddaughter Zenani (13) died last night in a car crash when the car taking her home from a Soweto concert on the eve of the World Cup overturned. The car’s driver has been arrested for drink-driving.

South African tenor Siphiwo Ntshebe (35) died on 26 May after suffering from acute bacterial meningitis. He had been selected to sing ‘Hope’, the official anthem of the World Cup, at the opening ceremony.

While not technically World Cup related, three British students were killed yesterday in Nelspruit, 205 miles east of Johannesburg, when their safari bus crashed. At least 16 other Britons in the party of students were hurt, three critically.

Let’s also not forget what happened in Angola at the African Cup of Nations back in January. Togo’s assistant coach, press officer and driver were all killed in an ambush on the team bus with two players also shot and injured in the attack.

Add to this all the incredibly long list of injuries where players have had to drop out of the tournament completely you do wonder if there is more to this than meets the eye.

Even without a web search I can name seven players who have been badly injured in the run up to this event: Michael Ballack (Germany), Rio Ferdinand (England), Arjen Robben (Holland), Didier Drogba (Ivory Coast), Michael Essien (Ghana), Nani (Portugal) and John Obi Mikel (Nigeria).

There’s a bit of Chelsea thing going on there – how weird is that? Maybe Theo Walcott is glad he’s staying at home now.

Can you imagine what seeing the first Mexico World Cup in 1970 would’ve been like after the black and white of ’66. All that colour – it just looked so exotic. In 1986 the pictures looked much the same but they did at least improve on the problems of the light and shade that haunted the earlier broadcasts. If a camera panned into the sunlight in 1970, whiteness would bleach out screen akin to staring at the sun using binoculars.

Mexico in 1970 and 1986 are regarded as probably the best two World Cups and it’s hard to disagree. The only differences visually between those tournaments were the go-faster stripes of the kits in 1986. Apart from England in their first couple of games and Scotland against Uruguay I don’t really recall their being a bad game. Someone will tell me otherwise I’m sure.

I was too young to remember West Germany ’74 but look at the video and the quality is not too dissimilar to what it is now. If Mexico were ever to be hosts again I would hope they go for the bright fuzzy colours of old just for nostalgia’s sake but unfortunately we would get the clinical HD sharpness instead.

Somehow it wouldn’t be quite the same.

Penalty-takers will no longer be allowed to halt at the end of their run-ups to try to fool the goalkeeper.

The International Football Association Board has decided it is “unsporting behaviour” and made it a yellow card offence in time for the World Cup.

Personally I think that a player can take a penalty any way he jolly well likes as long as it’s a single kick at goal. The feinting and stutter is actually a fairly tricky skill which is why so few do it. It’s an unnatural way of approaching the ball especially in a pressurised situation.

Because it is a skill and a single kick, it should be allowed. It’s not the takers fault that the goalkeeper commits himself by diving early.

Stuttering is fair game though having said that, John Aldridge used to really annoy me the way he’d take a kick and he got his just desserts by being the first person to miss a pen in an FA Cup Final.

Goalkeepers do seek to gain an advantage by moving and I’d ask you, when did you see that rule effectively applied? It’s one kick, towards one goal – how the ball gets there is of no consequence.

The act of kicking a ball takes a fraction of a second. There are no flicks, back flips or cartwheels involved. It is a single contact between foot and football towards a netted-rectangle 12 yards away. Simples.

When I was a goalkeeper I just ignored the run up and concentrated on the ball and watched which direction it went. At least then I had a chance of stopping it as I knew was going to dive the right way. I wasn’t relying on guesswork. OK, I didn’t save every one but my record wasn’t that bad.

Oh, and while we’re at it, look at Jerzy Dudek’s outrageous behaviour in the Champions League final in 2005. It’s appalling gamesmanship…and I’m speaking as a Liverpool fan!

Since the World Cup quarter-final against Cameroon in Italy in 1990 where Gary Lineker netted twice, England have had 25 penalties in active play and of these 18 were scored and 7 were missed. A 72% success rate.

Meanwhile, in penalty shoot-outs, they’ve won one and lost SIX!

West Germany 1990 (Turin, Italy)

WORLD CUP SEMI-FINAL – 1-1 AET (3-4)

England scored three of their five penalties in their first penalty shoot-out competition. Stuart Peace and Chris Waddle both failed to find the back of the net. 60% success rate.

Spain 1996 (Wembley)

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP QUARTER-FINAL – 0-0 AET (4-2)

Four kicks taken and all four scored as England won their first (and so far only) penalty shoot-out as they beat Spain in the quarter-finals at Euro96. 100% success rate.

Germany 1996 (Wembley)

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP SEMI-FINAL – 1-1 AET (5-6)

Five scored out of six pens with Gareth Southgate missing out in the Euro96 semi-final. 83% success rate.

Belgium 1998 (Casablanca, Morrocco)

KING HASSAN II INTERNATIONAL CUP TOURNAMENT – 0-0 (3-4)

Three succesful penalties and two missed in this largely forgotten 1998 World Cup warm up competition. Rob Lee and Rio Ferdinand were the players who failed score this time. 60% uccess rate.

I can’t find a video of this game so here’s a clip from the teams 1990 World Cup second round match.

Argentina 1998 (Saint-Étienne, France)

WORLD CUP SECOND ROUND – 2-2 AET (3-4)

This second round tie saw England again score three and miss two with Paul Ince and David Batty the culprits this time. 60% success rate.

On a side note my eldest may have started her journey in life after this match finished as she was born some nine months later.

Portugal 2004 (Lisbon, Portugal)

EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP QUARTER-FINAL – 2-2 AET (5-6)

This Euro2004 quarter-final clash saw England score five times and miss twice more through David Beckham and Darius Vassell. 71% success rate.

Portugal 2006 (Gelsenkirchen, Germany)

WORLD CUP QUARTER-FINAL – 0-0 AET (1-3)

Another competition and another quarter-final with Portugal. This time England converted just one penalty with Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher all missing. A gut-wrenching and pitiful 25% success rate.

This all means that England have taken a total of 56 penalties in 20 years and missed an astonishing 19 representing a very poor 66% success rate.

Jeez.

If you can bear it you can look at the details on these excellent sites:

http://www.englandfootballonline.com/TeamPenalty/Index.html
http://www.penaltyshootouts.co.uk/index.html
http://www.englandstats.com/index.php

Check back later today when the first of my posts go live!

Welcome to the Pleasuredome (Deluxe Edition)

I’ll begin this review by not reviewing it. Disc one, the main album, has been remastered but I’ve not listened to it in full yet so I don’t know how that stacks up. However, as I’m deaf in one ear I’m probably not the best person to talk about it. For this reason I’m focussing on the bonus disc and the delights within…

There is no question it’s excellent compilation of rare and unreleased material but it is not without its flaws. I was particularly looking forward to the demos of Two Tribes, War and Welcome to the Pleasuredome as well as the long mix of Ballad of 32 but more of which about those in a moment.

The second disc to this set begins with the fabled Relax (Greatest Bits) from the cassette single…sorry, singlette. This really is a perfect summing up of the Relax experience and it’s just a shame we don’t (yet) have a release that includes all those fantastic cassette mini-albums in a digital form. After the work Ian Peel has done with the ZTT’s archive that may change but for now I’m happy take this.

One September Monday is always a hard listen for me on headphones in particular because of my left-side deafness. The interview and music are kept well apart in the mix so I had to listen to this twice to get the full effect. That said, I’m picking up a lot more in the interview than I ever did before.

The Power of Love 12″ needed to be included if only because it’s been conspicuous by its absense from previous CD releases. There have been at least three opportunities to have issued this mix since it was last on the 1993 CD single reissue.

After Power of Love we have Disneyland. This first appeared on the ZTT retrospective, Sampled, and it was good to see that the ‘M.I.C.K.E.Y M.O.U.S.E’ from elsewhere on that compilation had been added to the beginning of the track here. However, I thought it strange that the animal noises are still there as they are clearly from Propagands’s Duel. I know they were included on Twelve Inches CD set but that’s no reason to keep them now.

Then it was the part I was looking forward to most – the demos. They are a fascinating look into the recording process that makes you try and pinpoint when which section was recorded and how far into development they were.I had heard two of the three before over the Internet as it turned out which slightly tainted my enjoyment of them. Still great to have though.

Following on from the three demos we have One February Friday which I’ve always loved though it’s a painfully juvenile interview at times. I would hope we get an instrumental version of this song at some point as it is a very engaging piece of music. We then get to the highlight of the whole package: The Ballad of 32.

I never really understood why some reviewers didn’t rate this track on the original LP. If Pink Floyd had recorded it it would’ve been held up as a masterpiece. Sure, there were no vocals (save for the moans from Babylon Pink blue movie) but it didn’t need them. It just added to the Frankie story and overblown nature of the album when first released. I remember in my youth creating a long version of this because I just didn’t want it to stop. I just loved the rolling guitars and tom toms and maybe the rude bits appealed to my adolescent sensibilities too.

Mix 2 is a joy and depite over half the eleven minutes being new to my ear(s) you can still follow the editing process for the final version. There is a brief passage towards the beginning that seemed out of place and I can’t make up my mind if it was reminiscent of medieval or arabic sounds but that soon passes and we’re back in familiar territory. No moaning this time but I think that would be too much for anyone!

We then have the brief interlude of Who then devised the torment? which I’ve always called ‘Oh fire!’. Another snippet from the singlettes which is nice to have but largely pointless out of context. The only place a Winston Churchill impersonator appears on this album.

Our Winnie is followed by the Greek Disco mix of Relax which I also think it was a largely unnecessary inclusion especially after the 16 minutes of Greatest Bits. The Greek mix is one of those oddities for collectors to pick up but by making accessible likes this takes the fun out of it…and it is a rather poor edit job. It’s only saving grace is that the start is the beginning of the 8 minute sex mix edit which we still don’t have in full.

Probably the strangest inclusion of all on this edition is Watusi Love Jucy. I really like this song but it has no place on here despite it being described as being from ‘at the very end of the Pleasuredome era’. It is dated as summer ’86 so it should’ve been saved for a Liverpool deluxe set. This just leaves us with one track to go, the Last Voice.

Chilling. And a perfect end to a great album.

Overall, despite the negative comments the deluxe edition of Welcome to the Pleasuredome is a wonderful thing. It has been lovingly put together and excellently currated by Ian Peel. The packaging is simply excellent too and for a all to brief moment, I’ve been transported back to 1984. A very nice place to be.

The only obvious changes I would’ve made would have been to lose the Greek Disco Mix and include The Only Star in Heaven (Starfix) and the 7″ of The World is My Oyster but we have since learned that not all tracks were available for mastering at that stage. Their day will come.

Overall though I give it a very creditable 9/10

Articles have covered technical and regulatory news, LINX member stories, event reviews, meeting sponsor advertorials, opinion pieces and helpful ‘How to…’ guides. Recipients include LINX members, vendors, colocation providers, news agencies as well as government officials and policy makers concerned with Internet regulation.

Traditionally HotLINX contained eight pages with a print run of just a few hundred copies. Following the success of the relaunch issue in August 2008, it quickly expanded to 12 and then a 16 page format with an increased circulation of 1250 printed copies distributed to some 50 countries worldwide. Then, in November 2009, LINX commemorated its 15th anniversary with a special edition of the magazine and made all archive issues available for download, some for the very first time.

The latest issue, HotLINX21, went online at 9.45am on Thursday 18 February and, as I type, has had over 450 downloads. This has helped all downloads break the 12000 barrier since August 2007. While these are not huge figures they have been seen in the context of the target audience and the rate of growth over the past year.

In February 2009 HotLINX17 was published and this is about to be the first to break the 2000 mark for downloads. The main story in that issue was peer to peer file sharing which was a big legal story at the time. In HotLINX21 it has been the Digital Economy Bill that has been the most picked up story so clearly there is some interest out there in what LINX is doing in Public Affairs. This the fact was demonstrated by the number of people Twittering about our Digital Economy Bill article…which was then re-tweeted…and so on.

In the online world there are dedicated news websites, specialist industry forums, comment through blogs and the growing impact of social networking which makes certain news stories almost inescapable. It can be overwhelming if we take this information at face value but how we digest the detail could yield a host of different business opportunities.

What I encourage readers to do is once you’ve understood the message of a story is to go back and look for those opportunities. Would the writer be a useful contact or is there a person or organisation in the article itself be worth speaking to?

No? Look a bit deeper. Does it mention an event you could attend or a shortage in equipment or skills that could be solved by your involvement?

Maybe not. What else is happening then? Is a company implementing a campaign that you could adapt for your own purposes? Is there an emerging market you haven’t considered before?

It doesn’t have to be specific to your market but could be a simple story in your local free paper. Make a point of trying to find the opportunity in every article on a single page even if most are unworkable. What it does is make the brain think a bit differently to the norm and as a result the big chance may just come your way.

Personally I have three Twitter accounts. One is for my employer for general announcements and information with a second individual work account for more general industry chat. The third one is my own which is mostly used for simple personal updates. It will be through this account I shall explain a few of the techniques you can use if you are new to Twitter.

I felt I should make ‘the new to Twitter’ clear as this is not meant to be for the regular users who have figured out how to use the thing. This is for those who may have set up an account and seen absolutely no benefit thus far. There are several reasons why this may be the case and I will come to those shortly.

So let’s take a look at my Twitter page: http://twitter.com/jeremyorbell

At the time of writing I have over 1000 followers and I am following a good deal more than that. For my own purposes I could argue that my list people I follow has become too long but that is a discussion for another time. Where I benefit is having a significant number of followers who I can update on a range of topics whether directly related to my work or my freelance marketing and communications work.

Twitter is unfortunately not immune to the world of spam and I often see new followers who are there for completely spurious reasons. Without wanting to get too negative at the start I will cover why it’s important to keep a check on your followers in a later blog post and concentrate on how you develop your page in the short term.

For now, here are a few Twitter tips to get you started…

Make regular, relevant updates to attract followers

Remember that Twitter only works if you make regular and meaningful updates (known as ‘Tweets’). If you don’t say anything why would anyone bother to follow you?

Many accounts lie dormant purely because the user has a set up a page and just waited for something to happen. You will only gain followers if people see what you have to say and are interested in your view. For a business it might be because you offer a particular product or service and that can draw many people in who will be able to find you via the search facility.

Adding links and URLs

Adding links to your Twitter posts means that followers can find out additional information. For me I’ll use links to event registration, online documentation, industry news, press releases etc. However, some website URLs can be a little on the long side which can be an issue particularly as you only have 140 characters to play with. For this reason I suggest shortening them using tinyurl.com.

Copy and paste the full web address of the supplementary information into the field on the tinyurl.com page and click on the ‘Make Tiny URL!’ button to shorten it. For example, if we do this for a recent OrbellComms blog post…

http://orbellcomms.wordpress.com/2009/12/10/building-the-employer-brand/

…becomes…

http://tinyurl.com/ye6r3xb

That is a reduction from 72 characters to just 25 which allows a significant number of extra characters for the rest of your Tweet.

Use trending topics or start your own

Trending topics are subjects which many people could be talking about right now on Twitter. Often these relate to news stories, sporting events, celebrities  or products and services and can be a useful way of attracting additional followers very quickly. You can set up trending topics by adding the # symbol at the beginning of a subject in your Tweet. For example:

jeremyorbell New blog post: New Year Reading: #Outliers by #malcolmgladwell http://tinyurl.com/yfqug4q

By clicking on a trending topic link you will be taken to a feed of every recent Tweet featuring that subject. Obviously it requires a few people to use it for it to catch on with followers but it can be particularly useful if your post is about a hot topic of discussion.

Reply to or Re-Tweet another message

Basically this is where you add or comment on another user’s Tweet on your page. You would do this because you found the comment interesting in some way and it is a good way of promoting a message by piggy-backing someone else’s news. It sounds strange but it is an accepted part of Twitter usage.

To reply or re-Tweet just put your cursor over the post that interests you and the links will appear and click on the one that is relevant to you. If you comment you will be replying to the orinal poster about his Tweet while the re-Tweet will simply be a new message on your own page.

The formatting is done for you and your username will be seen in their feed as well as yours.

Follow other users

To get started I would recommend using the search facility yourself which is located on the right hand side of your page (remember to log-in first). If you type in a subject word that interests you this will bring up a list of recent posts that have mentioned this word.

Click on the name of the person who has made a post that looks interesting to view more of their recent Twitter activity. If looks like you’d get value from following them then click on the follow button beneath their profile picture.

It is also worth checking which other people are already following them to see if there are others who would interest you. Find the link below their profile in the top right hand corner and look down the list. By each name you will see three icons and to follow someone you click on the first one with the little person + symbol.

Update your profile with meaningful information

Twitter doesn’t allow a great deal of room for information in your profile but it is worth adding something just so people can learn more about who you are.

Personalise your profile by clicking on the settings link at the very top of your page. Here you can add a short bio about yourself and a link to a different website if you have one. Also look at adding a profile image which could be a photograph of you or if the account is business releated, a company logo. There are certain size and format restrictions so check before trying to upload an image.

A plain and simple background design will also enhance your page and this is something I shall talk more about in a later blog post.

This particular book looks at how certain circumstances in formative years play a lot bigger role in individual success than we might otherwise give credit for. It also says that it isn’t just natural talent that’s the key – it takes hard work and dedication and even mentions a figure of 10,000 hours ‘practice’ in 10 years to master a particular skill.

Mozart has already been given a hard time because his early works as a six year old weren’t exactly compositions but arrangements of other people’s material. What is widely regarded as his first outstanding piece wasn’t written until he was in his early 20s. A little harsh on a child prodigy but I get his point.

These types of examples make the book kinda amusing too as it challenges the unchallegable. Stuff you used to just accept as fact is clearly a load of nonsense according to old Malcy. Anyway, from what I’ve seen so far it is a very good read. Thought-provoking and inspirational and I can whole-heartedly recommend it.

I’m not new to Gladwell as an author as I also very much enjoyed his book The Tipping Point which explains how little things can make a big difference. Here is the overview as written on Wikipedia:

Tipping points are “the levels at which the momentum for change becomes unstoppable.” Gladwell defines a tipping point as a sociological term: “the moment of critical mass, the threshold, the boiling point.” The book seeks to explain and describe the “mysterious” sociological changes that mark everyday life. As Gladwell states, “Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread like viruses do.” The examples of such changes in his book include the rise in popularity and sales of Hush Puppies shoes in the mid-1990s and the precipitous drop in the New York City crime rate after 1990.

How are you finding the new year? Have you started well or has little changed? Do you have any book recommendations? Please post in the comments section below.

PAUL:
You took your time. Didn’t realise powdering your nose could take so long. Just how much have you snorted?

SHEILA NEARLY CHOKES.

SHEILA:
Not enough, clearly.

WE HEAR A RAISED VOICE IN THE BACKGROUND BUT CAN”T HEAR WHAT IS BEING SAID.

RACHEL:
(OUT OF BREATH) Sheila, I got here as fast as I could.

SHEILA:
Thank god! Paul? This is Rachel Tomms from Trading Standards. She’d like a word about the content of your Lonely Hearts advert.

PAUL:
Eh?

RACHEL:
Paul Spencer, I am acting on behalf of Sheila Andrews who claims that your advert in ‘Sado Singles’ in last Thursday’s Chorlton Advertiser contravenes the Trades Descriptions Act 1968 and the Malicious Communications Act 1988 which prohibits the sending or delivering of letters or other articles with the purpose of causing distress or anxiety.

PAUL:
You what?

RACHEL READS FROM THE NEWSPAPER.

RACHEL:
For instance, you describe yourself as ‘A bronzed Adonis’. Tell me, is that your body you‘re sitting in?

PAUL:
Of course it is!

RACHEL:
Well, it’s not good enough. If you had presented yourself as dirty instead of bronzed we would’ve found that acceptable.

PAUL:
Dirty?!

RACHEL:
We also suggest you replace the term ‘Adonis’ with ‘A donkey’.

PAUL:
You want me to describe myself as ‘a dirty donkey’?

RACHEL:
If you want to avoid prosecution, yes. Your whole advert is littered with inaccuracies….

PAUL:
This is rich – what about her ad then? You’re not telling me she’s a a size 12 – not unless she’s referring to the size of her feet.

RACHEL:
(UNBELIEVING) You said you were a size 12?

SHEILA:
Er…

RACHEL:
Weights and Measures Act 1985 – that’s a CLEAR contravention.

SHEILA:
Now just a minute…

RACHEL:
You could also do her under the Misrepresentation Act 1967…

SHEILA:
You…you fart!

PAUL:
Don’t you call me a fart!

SHEILA:
No, I mean, YOU fart…

RACHEL:
Ah, the Explosive Acts, 1875 and 1923…

PAUL:
EVERBODY farts – it’s a normal bodily function.

SHEILA:
Yeah, but you don’t have to let rip every two minutes.

RACHEL:
Hmmm, that would come under the 1974 Control of Pollution Act.

PAUL:
Ha! If we’re gonna talks about pollution what about that fragrance you wear! I didn’t realise Sellafield* had a perfume counter.

RACHEL:
(COUGHS) Poisons Act 1972

SHEILA:
Look, I’ve had enough of this – I’m leaving!

PAUL:
Good! I was about to ask the waiter if I could order an oxygen tent!

SHEILA:
Before I go there’s just one last thing I must ask.

PAUL:
What’s that?

SHEILA:
Some people like to think that they are better looking than they really are but how on earth could you claim to have ‘a tasty six pack’? There’s enough blubber on you to keep an Eskimo family going all winter.

PAUL:
Tasty six pack? You silly woman – I was talking about beer!

PAUL PULLS OUT SIX TINS OF BEER AND SLAMS THEM ON THE TABLE. HE PULLS THE RING PULL ON ONE AND IT SPRAYS EVERYWHERE.

END

Why am I writing a newsletter?

Alan Ball - Playing Extra Time

I got this book as part of a football book box set last Christmas and hadn’t quite got round to reading it but once I started, I couldn’t out it down. The ’66 World Cup happened before I was born but as an England fan I always had great affection for the little man that ‘ran himself daft’ that day.

This book got right into the detail of both the playing and managerial side of the game and the injustice of how heartless football clubs can operate. Obviously we only have Ball’s side of the story but such is the cynicism in the game I’m not entirely surprised to read about how it was, and is, being run.

I think what got me was the total lack of respect for someone, one of only 11 who have won football’s greatest prize, was treated at times. I was shaken to read that a 10 year old boy had spat him while he was manager at Stoke and how he was made to carry the can for the farce that was Manchester City in the late 90s.

On the family side there is the moving tributes to his wife, Lesley, who died of cancer and for his family and friends. I think what particularly hit home for me personally was that her death followed a not dissimilar pattern of my mother’s some five years later.

Alan Ball died two years after this book was written but reading it he seemed so alive that he must still be around somewhere. I remembering him playing for Southampton and always noted his managerial progress because of the England connection so when he died of a heart attack in 2007 I felt I’d lost a relative too. By a quirk of fate his funeral was two years to the day before my mother died.

I may have made this review a bit more personal to me but if you are a football fan then this is a must read. In a way, despite the problems he encounted along the way, he saw the golden age of football from the sixties until it began to eat itself with the money men of the Premier League.

The marketing for this has been interesting. It has come on the back of the Virgin TV advert and commemorates the 25th anniversary of the bands debut album, Welcome to the Pleasuredome. Singer Holly Johnson’s solo albums are now all available to download online for the first time with physical CD reissues planned for next year I understand.

A few weeks ago there was a teaser campaign with Frankie Say Coming posters across London and last month the Frankie Say T-Shirt was the focus of 25 years of British fashion design. Not only that, CD promos of 11 remixes of Relax have been circulating and unsurprisingly these tracks can now be found on the net. This was always likely but is it all a ploy by generate interest? If that was the case it has certainly worked.

Social networking has also played a part in the success of this campaign with a multitude of postings on YouTube, Twitter and Facebook with Holly himself even getting in on the act. The producers of the new video – which hints at the Virgin ad that sparked all this new interest – invited people to appear by publicising auditions on a variety of media.

Frankie fans, this is your golden opportunity to be in Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s brand new video.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Frankie-Say-Greatest/128373872491?ref=nf

The new ‘Relax’ video shoot is taking place next Monday afternoon in London, and we’re offering one of you (plus friend) the chance to be in it.

It’s a very high profile music video for Universal Records and is going to be shown on all major music television networks, so it’s a great opportunity to be a star!

We are looking for 100 extras to party on the magnificent Kensington Roof Gardens , the music video will be fun, bright and sexy dance based video incorporating a great choreographed routine, a hot pilot dj, and some scorching air hottest podium dancers! A giant martini glass takes centre stage and the rocking club reaches fever pitch as the extras will be having fun, dancing at Kensington High street!

So if you want to have some fun and get a really good exposure please apply now!

*Please note!*

Entrants must be aged 18 and over
Entrants must be able to attend on the stated date; October 5th from mid afternoon through to the evening
Travel expenses will not be reimbursed for winners travel to and from Central London
There is no guarantee that the footage filmed will be used in the final cut
The competition closes at 12pm Friday 2nd October

Will all this lead to a big hit? Probably, especially as Holly himself has appeared in the new video for the song.

He’s probably best known for his book 500 mile walkies but there were a few others that made it to TV too including the Missing Postman with James Bolam and Happy Birthday Mr Shakespeare starring Neil Morrissey. The latter, coincidentally, that saw a relationship start between Morrissey and co-star Amanda Holden which reportedly lead to the break-up her marriage to Les Dennis.

Why am I telling you this? Well, I’ve recently been re-reading his book called The Day Job about his life a jobbing gardner in 1980. What will perhaps be interesting to people on here is that his ‘other’ job was as an aspiring comedy writer. It talks about meeting director John Lloyd and Dave Allen and finally getting two sketches on Not the Nine O’clock News. The news comes the day John Lennon was shot.

If you want to read a funny book and get a flavour of someone’s struggle to be recognised in the comedy world I would heartily recommend it. You can even read some of the book online.

Also of interest is that his writing partner at the time was Dick Fiddy, a TV historian who wrote Missing Presumed Wiped: Searching for the Lost Treasures of British Televison.