Posted by: crustynomad | June 2, 2008

Coach potato – scene 4

Here’s the fourth scene of my aborted sitcom. To read the first scene and subsequent scenes go to my post A Good Idea But Too Late. I would have added more before now if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve been without connectivity at home for the best part of three weeks.

SCENE 4

HIGH STREET. EXT. DAY.

THERE’S A BURGER VAN ON THE STREET SELLING TEA, COFFEE AND OTHER ASSORTED JUNK FOOD.

FRANK:
Right, I’m starving. I’m just going get something from here. (TO BURGER SELLER) Bacon roll mate…oh, and chuck a fried egg in with that.

EDWARD:
Another one? Have you any idea what cholestrol is?

FRANK:
Yes, it’s a word neither of us can spell.

EDWARD:
(IGNORING HIM) Right, where’s the barbers then?

FRANK:
(POINTS) Down the end of the street on the left.

EDWARD:
OK, I’ll see you down there in a minute.

CUT TO LONG SHOT OF FRANK WALKING DOWN THE STREET TOWARDS THE CAMERA EATING HIS ROLL AND CARRYING HIS TOOLBOX. EDWARD CAN BE SEEN NIPPING FROM SHOP TO SHOP BEHIND HIM PURCHASING ITEMS OF CLOTHING. FIRST A SHIRT, THEN A TIE FROM ACROSS THE STREET AND FINALLY THE SUIT, CHANGING INTO EACH ITEM AS HE WALKS ALONG THE ROAD. FRANK IS OBLIVIOUS TO THE MAYHEM GOING ON OUT OF EYESHOT. EVENTUALLY AS THEY REACH THE DOORS OF THE BARBER EDWARD IS READY.

EDWARD:
(BREATHLESS) OK, sorted!

FRANK, STILL CHEWING, LOOKS EDWARD UP AND DOWN AND THEN DWELLS ON HIS FEET. EDWARD FOLLOWS HIS EYES. CUT TO A SHOT OF EDWARD’S FEET – HE’S WEARING FLIP FLOPS.

EDWARD:
Well, you did say the smart casual look.

EDWARD GOES INTO A SHOE SHOP WHILE FRANK LEANS ON THE WINDOW OUTSIDE. THEY CARRY ON A SHOUTED CONVERSATION.

FRANK:
(TO EDWARD) So this Robinson guy. What’s his story?

EDWARD: (OOV)
Excuse me. My client’s personal details are completely confidential. Do you expect me to betray his confidence in the street?

FRANK:
You’re not in the street – I am.

EDWARD: (OOV)
Oh. (BEAT) It’s the guy who inherited that carpet factory on the Bedford Road.

FRANK:
And he wants your services because…

EDWARD: (OOV)
Not sure yet. I got the impression it’s about the sudden responsibility of the factory and the fact he’s nearly 40 without having got his legover. He wanted to meet at the Royal Park Hotel so who am I to stop him using his new found wealth on my behalf.

EDWARD EMERGES FROM THE SHOE SHOP WITH ALL HIS OLD CLOTHES IN A CARRIER BAG. HE HOLDS HIS ARMS OUT WIDE.

EDWARD:
Ta-da! How do I look?

FRANK:
Actually not too bad though I’d lose the er, briefcase.

EDWARD:
Hmmm… Hang on…

HE NOTICES A CHARITY SHOP AND JUST CHUCKS THE BAG INTO THE DOORWAY. FRANK SHAKES HIS HEAD WITH DISMAY. HE PICKS UP HIS TOOL BOX AND HEADS INTO THE BARBERS. MEANWHILE A TRAMP SEES THE BAG AND STARTS SEARCHING THROUGH IT. AN OLD LADY WHO WORKS IN THE CHARITY SHOP COMES OUT AND A SCUFFLE ENSUES. EDWARD WINCES AND HURRIES INSIDE THE BARBERS.

END OF SCENE

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