Posted by: crustynomad | June 10, 2008

An Unholy Mix: Kids in Church

I went to my oldest friend’s, son’s christening on Sunday.

It was a lovely setting at a chapel in the grounds of Northampton hospital. My friend works there and told me we would have to watch the children at all times as patients could be roaming about. I don’t know who was supposed to be wary of who!

I remember years ago going to stay at his student residence when he was training and then this very smiley yet shouty individual who just turned up in his room. He had to be escorted back to his ward. Slightly disconcerting to think those with mental conditions could stroll around unaccompanied.

Anyway, the christening…

My five year old lad got bored very quickly and as the vicar was talking he started opening and closing his hands emu-style and going ‘blah-blah-blah’. Outside afterwards he said he wanted a wee and was about pee up against the side of the church until I whisked him away. The shame…

We’re not a particularly religious family but this was very embarrassing at the time. I can smile about it now however.

This reminded me of a time about nine years ago when me and my wife we were invited to her ex-boyfriend’s wedding. This was a slightly surreal occasion for obvious reasons but what followed made it even more so.

At the very moment the vicar said: ‘If any of you know cause or just impediment why these persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, you should declare it now‘, my daughter Hannah, then aged about six months, let out an almighty fart!

There were many a stifled giggle in the pews.

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